Do You Know...?

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?

Do you get what you're hoping for
When you look behind you there's no open door
What are you hoping for?
Do you know...?

Once we were standing still in time
Chasing the fantasies
That filled our minds
You knew how I loved you
But my spirit was free
Laughin' at the questions
That you once asked of me

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?

Now looking back at all we've planned
We let so many dreams
Just slip through our hands
Why must we wait so long
Before we'll see
How sad the answers to those questions can be

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you
Where are you going to?
Do you know...?

Do you get what you're hoping for
When you look behind you there's no open door
What are you hoping for?
Do you know...?

theme from Mahogany

Doa gw hri ini...

Saat mata tak bisa lagi saling menatap
Saat jemari tak bisa lagi saling menyentuh
Saat suaramu tak lagi terdengar

Hanya mampu terpekur menunduk
Memanjatkan doa di sisi pusaramu
Menyentuh nisan bergoreskan namamu

Tuhan Yang Maha Mendengar,
Aku mohon
Terimalah iman islamnya…
Ampunilah segala dosa dan kesalahannya…
Lapangkanlah jalannya menuju ke tempat terbaik di sisiMu…
Bahagiakanlah ia di sana…

Tuhan Yang Maha Pemurah,
Aku mohon
Ajari aku untuk dapat mengikhlaskan kepergiannya…
Ajari aku untuk mampu memaafkan diriku atas segala yang telah terjadi…

Tuhan Yang Maha Kuasa,
Hanya Engkau yang mampu menjadikan segalanya ada dan tiada…
Aku pasrahkan hidup dan matiku hanya kepadaMu…

Lampung, EnamMeiDuaRibuTujuh

Hiding Place

There are times when u feel like hiding, or just be by urself to express ur heart and mind. Just to sit there and enjoy the helplessness, cry till ur eyes swollen, scream till ur throat sore.

Imagining myself on the beach again. Such a quite place, the cool wave keeps coming back to the beach and wet my feet, soft sand beneath my feet, little crab running away from the water. Birds fly above my head. Blue sky...blue ocean...

...........

Do u realize that before u cry, ur heart feels hurt, the wrisk of ur left hand hurts so bad, u can hardly breath properly and next comes the blurring eyes...and u cry.

..........

Another ten days before my flying home but somthing just doesnt feel right. I'll think of my beach tonite, hope to find some strength and peacefullness.

Count Down to Closing Day

Kta ga slalu punya ksempatan buat nyelesein smuanya sperti yg kta mau. Banyak hal yg cuma bisa dslesein sama waktu, entah bsok, lusa, taun depan ato spuluh taun lagi. Rasanya skarang gw msh punya ksempatan buat nutup smuanya dengan baik, at least sbaik yg gw bisa.

Rasanya kya mesti balik lg k hri itu, tp gw ttp mesti jalanin smuanya, to have peace with my past. Smoga aja gakan ssusah yg gw khawatirin.

I'll be there on your bday, hope to see you smhow...

Drowning

Been a long and hard days lately, feel exhausted, out of breath, mentally ill and other expression doesnt seem to be able describing my real feeling. I had blurry eyes today, cant control myself. Feels tired to tolerate things that has no system, tolerate people that has no manner nor attitude.

At times like this, I wish I cud just packed up my bag n go straight to the airport, buy one way ticket...coming home.

...18days to go to departure...