Logika vs Hati

Brusaha buat bikin hati gw ga ngalahin logika bukan hal baru lg buat gw, been there and done that. Logika gw pernah menang nglawan hati, biarpun cukup bikin gw brantakan dan butuh waktu buat baik2 aja. Skarang perangnya mulai lg, antara hati…ama logika.

Logika, 1 + 1 = 2
Bukan ssuatu yg perlu dipikirin panjang lebar, udah jelas smua aturan dan sgala resiko yg ada plus bakal ditemuin klo hasilnya ga = 2.

Kputusan buat konsekuen ama komitmen yg udah d sepakatin bukan ssuatu yg bisa d tawar…

Farewell

I have got my leave.
Bid me farewell, my brothers!
I bow to you all and take my departure.

Here I give back the keys of my door
---and I give up all claims to my house.
I only ask for last kind words from you.

We were neighbors for long,
but I received more than I could give.
Now the day has dawned
and the lamp that lit my dark corner is out.
A summons has come and I am ready for my journey

-Farewell by Rabindranath Tagore-

Akhirnya, hari Minggu 10 Februari 2008 gw pgi jg ninggalin Papua. Ninggalin smua khidupan gw slama 2taun trakhir, ninggalin sahabat2 baik, temen2 dan smuanya. Langit Papua yg cerah hri itu kya rela hati nglepas kpergian gw, feels like the earth bid me farewell and give me a sign that this is the best decision for me. Jarak dan waktu mungkin akan misahin kta, tp sampe kpanpun, u guys will always have a special place in my heart as u have give me the strength and hope to see this world in a broader view... as u have give me the warmth and laughter to bright my days... as u have give me love and comfort to face the world.
Thank you for all the days we shared, for my heart and love will be with u always...

B E B A S S S S

Gw ngbebasin khayalan gw sbebas2nya, tanpa batas. Gw ngbiarin sgala khayalan itu dbahas dengan ssuka2nya, tanpa nahan diri. Dengan penuh ksadaran bahwa smua cuma akan bisa jd khayalan, gakan pernah bisa lbh dari itu.

Pembenaran yg gw punya ga lg bisa bikin smuanya tjawab, ga lg bisa bikin gw ketawa dengan sgala yg gw jalanin. Rasanya makin aneh, mungkin ini yg namanya getir ya? Sberapa kuat pun gw brusaha buat ngjalanin aja smuanya, smakin kuat jg ksadaran bahwa smua gakan bisa jd nyata, sberapa besarpun usaha yg gw kerahin.

Dengan bodohnya gw nggaret2 pisau d tangan gw sendiri, bgitu deketnya ama urat nadi gw. Pedih, perih dan gw berdarah, udah ga bisa lg nangis buat ngalihin perihnya, udah ga bisa lg triak buat minta bantuan orang…

Skali lg, gw terjun bebas tanpa parasut dan tanpa jaring pengaman…
Bunuh diri total!

Skali ini aja...

Skali ini aja...
Let me say this loud and clear
How I wish so hard for things to be different

Skali ini aja...
I want you to hear me say
How I wish to be able to stop and return the time

Skali ini aja...
Gw akan bilang, klo aja...

flashback from 9 Februari 2008

Love Takes Time

Hearing this song this morning while chatting with you on the phone...

Love takes time
To heal when you're hurting so much
Couldn't see the I was blind to let you go
I can't escape the pain inside
Cos love takes time
I don't wanna be here
I don't wanna be here, alone

Don't worry too much
It's just another phase I had to go thru
I'll be juuuust fine *_*

Counting down the day...

Warmness and happiness is filling my heart, filling my life...
You brought even more lights into my life
It won't be a forever thing, I know
Those stolen moments with you would be enough

I had you here in my arms
Still have you in my heart and mind

I still can have you for the shortest future
Bless the days to keep you with me
Bless the hours to stand still and hold you there

Letting you go will not gonna be easy
Keeping you is not the option I have

Things work in their mysterious ways
For falling in love is one of the mysteries

Enjoying whatever laid before my eyes
Having another place in my heart occupied
As another human being bring the wall down
So there where you'll be...